Yeah, that 100 million dollar surplus MUST be a sign of incompetance!

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The winner of this month’s Whore Derv has run the gamut of politics, not in the sense of crossing the floor and joining another party (ahem Belinda Stronach), but in the sense of holding multiple positions and jumping levels of government. A former Health Minister of Ontario during the heady days of dollar flux now known as the e-health spending scandal, he left that portfolio for the Environment. At first I resented his attempts to undermine incentives for property owners to invest in renewable energy, however, he eventually made good and introduced the FIT program in the Green Energy Act. For those who don’t know, FIT stands for Feed-in Tariffs, and it guarantees independent green energy producers a fixed price for their surplus energy against the vacillations of the market price. Bravo, energy minister.

He has jumped the provincial ship though, and landed in the lifeboat of municipal politics. By now, you’ve probably guessed that I’m talking about the (no longer) Right Honourable George Smitherman. He made the news last night, a desperate grab for a soundbyte, criticizing current mayor David Miller for announcing a 100 million dollar surplus in Toronto’s budget. He announced he was confident that the mayor knew of this surplus much earlier and merely waited for the campaign to replace him to “ride in on a white horse” and … presumably to save the day. George! I love the FIT program, and I was all ready to embrace you after the bitterness in my heart over Caplan taking all the heat for the e-health spending scandal waned. But no, you had to show up on the news and slam the current mayor, who is leaving of his own volition, for announcing a 100 MILLION DOLLAR SURPLUS. And this after one of the most severe recessions since the great depression! Am I the only one who thinks you sound like a total nitwit again?

Congratulations George! Rather than simply congratulating current Mayor Miller for his recent success, you chose to desperately grab a soundbyte and sound like a numbskull in the process. You have won the current Whore Derv. By peddling your infantile brand via a gigamillion pixels, and trying to revive a Miller hate-on that has for the most part waned since the city strike last summer, you have honoured the award.

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The Laundry

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I can’t sleep because logic’s

Recipe is full of tar and sand.

Equal parts get me out of this mess

And get me far enough in it

To not be able to tell the difference.

Underbellies of thought

Bring but subtle comforts to not

Quite born beings.

Once it happens, they say, it

Comes naturally.

As if something could not be natural.

Water breaks the surface

Tension, that but holds together

This ragged self

Tells of monopolies of exhaust

Worry, tear-drops to clear

Duct work

And preserve, above all else

The sense that chance is not so random.

That those little fists

Have healthy walls to beat on

That the light of day

Pokes through holes

And gives these objects

That clutter the space in my bedroom

Their very colour.

That soil will grow

Something fantastic

And tasty to shade the lawn

With the ichor

Of plenitude

The lenient feathers of

Winged visitors in night’s

Event of apparition,

Who tell me this tar and sand

Ropes thick through

Rolls of waves too

Frightening to behold

So you hold a mirror up to it

To see it but once removed

And once removed,

This veil of vision leaves

And sleep settles in

Like blankets

On the clothes line

When the wind

Disappears.

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Bay Street, circa 1924, or after the Apocalypse?

I found this image in the archives at Toronto's Metropolitan Reference Library. I guess it was a bad air day. The more things change...

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Scene from a Club: Sound translated into Sight

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Holy Zamboni! This Week's Whore Derv goes to...

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The winner of the latest Whore Derv is a juggernaut of local politics in Toronto.. As chair of one of the largest and most complex organizations, he has had an unfortunate convergence of publicity. His tall gangly frame has been in the news almost constantly for the last month. As a city councilor, he has been variously praised and scoffed. There’s something endearingly earnest about his face and manner, but I don’t think this feature will save him from his current downwards spiral.

If you live in Toronto, you’ve probably seen, or at least heard about his zany youtube photo, depicting him engaging in various calisthenics to prepare himself for the race for the mayoralty of Toronto. In the end of the video, he declares himself ready. That was enough to make the news. But then the denizen citizen journalists, who sent in photos of sleeping TTC collectors, increased tension between the TTC and the public because of a fare hike and produced a good deal of criticism of the TTC, which is our winner’s ship to steer. Add to all the speculation of his mayoral ambitions and the negative press pouring in against the TTC under his supervision, the spectacle of a sex scandal. Not only did Adam Giambrone, this week’s winner, pull a Bill Clinton, but apparently he told the Ms. Lewinsky of the situation confidential information about the pending fare hike. All in all, poorly played Mr. Giambrone.

A young lad at 32 years, I can certainly forgive Adam his sexual dalliances. The public, however, is not so enamored of such promiscuity. Why else would it be a “scandal?” For all we know, his partner Sarah knows about his behavior and is cool with it, but that doesn’t necessarily make good television. But really, the ship seems to be sinking for our young captain. Let’s hope that time heals his wounds, and that he pulls his shit together to run for mayor. On the plus side, he has certainly got his name out there, and is probably by far the most recognizable name on the ticket. Congratulations Adam Giambrone, you have won this week’s Whore Derv award for refusing to let the media bully you into breaking down in tears on camera. The wildebeest knows best of a crocodile’s tears. Thank you, Adam, for sparing us the media’s lurid interest in human frailty. Dance, monkey, dance!

Fourth Whore Derv of the Apocalpyse

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This week’s Whore Derv. goes to a singer, whose soulful devotion to our smaller, furrier companions, is truly mind-numbing. If this sounds like someone just being mean you might be right, but I doubt it. She is truly an icon of Canada, her songs lurking in outdoorsy craft shops on the outskirts of a town you’d live in to be close to point A but you can’t afford to live there. Her voice pulls your heartstrings while you shop for plastic waldo dolls or vintage arcade game shot glasses. She considers percussion some sort of anathema. Piono is her instrument of her choice.

It is Sarah McLachlan. A Liz Phair away from Tori Amos, Sarah has been singing the same song since the early nineties, and laughing all the way to the bank. Way to go Sarah! Her latest public service announcement, on behalf of the OSPCA, has had no shortage of airplay on CTV or on CBC; hell, it’s probably the soundtrack of your walk between your house or apartment to your car. Sarah, thanks for helping the voiceless, and for making your “one” song a part of our everyday lives!

From the people who like your music,

You’ve put us in a simulcast nirvana and we love you.

From the rest of us,

STFU!

Beavis meets Baba Ram Dass and Rimbaud and has a Synaesthetic Experience

Art by yours truly Trevor Cunnington.

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The Revenge of the Suburbs

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The Third Whore Derv of Canada goes to a long-deserving citizen and politician. Elected as one of the most crucial pieces of the governing party of Canada that was elected on a platform of free-market shenanigans, streamlined government, and increased transparency, he became the architect of the biggest government intervention in the Canadian economy since the great depression. Also a member of the largest Cabinet since Brian Mulroney’s 40 member Cabinet, excepting Paul Martin’s 39 member cabinet, he is also a governor of the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund.

The neo-colonial relations perpetuated by these institutions, namely the provision of funds for development of poorer nations, thereby saddling them with unwieldy debts, are well-known. The interest rates, set by these institutions, which are to a large extent run by people from former colonial powers or their closest satellites, preclude timely payback. Furthermore, they encourage to parceling out of arable land to grow cash crops for export, crops such as coffee and sugar, rather than food crops for domestic consumption. This cycle of poverty dependence is not unlike that shared by the lower echelons of the developed world’s economy, the huge majority of which are the working poor, becoming dependent upon credit with punishing interest rates. Granted, the poorest nations in the world, those with per capita incomes of less than $865/year, are sometimes given interest-free loans. However, the middle range poor nations, those with per capita incomes over $1305 are given loans with interest rates higher than market norms.

While we might laud this Cabinet Member for not being so rigidly dogmatic in his adherence to neoliberal ideology, and for incorporating a corrective dose of Keynesianism into his financial vision for Canada during hard times, his actions strike one as so out of step with his publicly-held beliefs that it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to call him a nihilist. Moreover, Prime Minister Harper has recently asked Governor General Michaelle Jean to prorogue Parliament for a second year in a row. The reason he gave is so that the government can prepare the budget statement, due to be announced on March 3. Given that government critics have posited various theories explaining this move as an evasion of the Afghan torture scandal, or as a holiday for politicians to do some political schmoozing during the winter Olympics, the Invisible Truth does not wish to retread ground that has been beaten smooth. It is true that the committee designated to investigate the Afghan torture scandal will evaporate for now and face time-related obstacles in reconstructing pertinent events, especially if the Conservative paper shredder works overtime during the prorogation. Instead of these well-fleshed-out theories, The Invisible Truth dares to take the Prime Minister at his word.

Therefore, the third Whore Derv of Canada goes to Finance Minister Jim Flaherty. Congratulations Jim! If the government needs prorogation to prepare the next steps of Canada’s economic action plan, this implies you haven’t been doing your job. Because you haven’t been doing your job, the Prime Minister has dispatched government and subverted democracy yet again. Way to go! As a former member of provincial parliament in Mike Harris' government for Whitby/Oshawa, The Honorable Jim Flaherty has come a long way: he is also the government official responsible for the Greater Toronto Area. Take that you snooty urbanites!

The Second Whore Derv of Canada goes to....

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The second Whore Derv of Canada goes to Peter A. Crossgrove. Peter is a corporate Director of Barrick Gold, the largest gold production company in the world. Some of of you may think, well that’s all you need to write, but that’s not entirely fair, is it? If you have been left of centre for over a decade, you might remember the many protests of Barrick that emanated from their operations in Bolivia in the 1990s and evoked solidarity ripples all across the hemisphere. Peter has been a director at Barrick since 1993. While these protests have for the most part waned, and Barrick claims many measures of corporate social responsibility through both their website and other sites, Barrick is far from a corporate angel. As recently as January, Norway’s Finance Minster announced the Norway Pension Fund’s withdrawal from investment in Barrick, to the tune of 300 million dollars. The withdrawal of one of the largest Pension Funds in the world from Barrick’s operations came after their Council of Ethics determined that Barrick’s activities, especially in Papua New Guinea, were not environmentally sustainable. To read an article on these activities; among which are dumping mine waste directly into rivers, something forbidden according to United Nations Environmental agreements; visit this website:
Barrick&PapuaNewGuinea

Barrick currently runs many mines all over the world, and they are currently developing mines in the Dominican Republic, the border of Chile and Argentina, and northern Nevada. Their development in Nevada has been contested by various Shoshone tribes, as well as Environmental activist groups such as the Great Basin Resource Watch. While the state Court of Nevada overturned their plea to stop the expansion of the Cortez mine to include part of Mount Tenabo, a sacred mountain for the Shoshone, they appealed. On Dec. 9, 2009, the case went to Supreme Court in San Francisco. It had been waged on two fronts: a lack of research into environmental impact according to the National Environmental Policy Act, and the obstruction the mine represents to the Shoshone in the practice of their religion. In Supreme court, the previous decision was overturned on the grounds of environmental impact, but not on the grounds of the freedom of the Shoshone to practice their religion. For more information on this case, consult this website:
Nevada

Why Mr. Crossgrove, and not Peter Munk, the founder and chairman of Barrick’s board of directors, who himself won an Order of Canada? Or why not the Right Honorable Brian Mulroney, who sits on Barrick’s board of directors as well? Well, Mr. Munk offsets his corporation’s dirty fingers with philanthropy, and Brian Mulroney has sufficiently disgraced himself over bribes he accepted from Karlheinz Schreiber during his tenure as Prime Minister. Since we here at the Invisible Truth believe in spreading both wealth and honor, as well as shame and depravity, we give this award to Peter Crossgrove. Having an extensive history with Barrick, while the new C.E.O and president Aaron Regent has only worked with Barrick since the Norway withdrawal in January, Peter has presided over and shared responsibility for more environmental degradation and cultural insensitivity to the globe’s indigenous peoples than most of his other colleagues. Gregory Wilkens, former C.E.O and Vice-Chairman, died on December 16th, and it pleases us not to speak ill of the dead.

Congratulations Peter! We wish you the best in continuing your ruthless extraction of the world’s oldest and most dependable commodity from the earth while trampling the rights of indigenes and dumping heavy metals into watersheds. Your ass makes us tremble with delight!

Drum Roll Please... The First Whore Derv of Canada goes to...

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The first Whore Derv goes to a person who has been in the midst of a political fracas in Canada. Before we reveal who the winner is, however, a little history is in order. Lester B. Pearson, the only Canadian Prime Minister to win the Nobel Peace Prize (a sometimes dubious honour, no doubt), established Canada’s reputation as a country that was dedicated and skilled at resolving conflict and peacekeeping. Although various governments have stretched the meaning of peacekeeping into the realm of peacemaking, the Canadian Mission in Afghanistan has gone beyond even peacemaking into outright war.

Canada has recently been accused of breaking international laws by none other than the Canadian diplomat to Afghanistan. As few teeth as these laws might have in reality, the UN is still used with varying degrees of effectiveness to pressure countries to improve their behaviour with regards to human rights. The specific laws claimed to have been broken are those governing torture, and the law transgressed is that nations must not knowingly transfer detainees to organizations who are known to use torture to extract information from detainees. The evidence coming out from former diplomat, Richard Colvin suggests that Canada‘s Armed Forces (CAF) have done exactly that. Richard Colvin’s accusations have been substantiated by EU diplomats with experience in the region as well.

Peter McKay, the present defence minister, has denied that the CAF has handed over detainees knowing full well that they would be tortured. He said in a speech, part of which was aired on CTV’s eleven o’clock news on November 22, 2009, that “it cannot be proven that any Taliban detainee was tortured after having been handed over to Afghan authorities.” Notice that he doesn’t deny that such a thing ever happened in his hair-splitting rhetorical parry. He says simply that it cannot be proven. Then again, we can’t prove that blue is really blue after all, can we Peter? And notice how he uses the hot-button word “Taliban” as a modifier to the more neutral “detainee.” When you have no rational justification, emote, emote, emote!

Canada has been criticized (and the more sane citizens have also
contributed to some degree of self-criticism to the nation’s credit) over its current government’s refusal to abide by the now dated Kyoto Protocol. Not only that, but the Conservative government of which Mr. McKay is a part declines participating in the new initiatives sparked by the growing global consensus of the need for policy changes geared towards lowering carbon output. In a country where a large majority consider the environment the most important political issue, this is unacceptable.Add a faltering human rights record to the mix, one so diligently built by Pearson, Paul Hellyer, and Léo Cadieux, among others, and we have a precipitous slide in Canada’s international reputation, one of the sources of our national pride.

Peter McKay is the first winner of the Whore Derv of Canada. His rhetoric has gone to great lengths to cover his own ass and that of his cronies in Afghanigate after the vice squad has broken into the pay-by-the-hour motel where he was peddling ????? And, according to the demagogues of might, Canada was there to train the Afghan military? He he he he he . . . Oops. I suppose we can take comfort in the fact that we can still rant in retrospective ire about Bush and about how we didn’t actually torture anyone with some degree of justification, but really. Taking comfort in someone else’s failure does not make you any more of a success. And is it any wonder that with plans to withdraw from Afghanistan by 2011, the Canadian government has decided to pull itself up by its bootstraps to grow opium poppies for the bourgeoning pharmaceutical industry?

Congratulations, Peter!

http://www.thespec.com/News/CanadaWorld/article/643103